33 Comments

Utterly fantastic column. Totally get it. LOVE YOUR WRITING, Leah!

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Thank you!

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"Lot's Wife"- whomever wrote that story down for the Bible couldn't give her the dignity of having an identity independent of her husband?

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Oof! Don't get me started! So many important women in the Bible don't have their own names.

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Post Sodom Reunion

The lucky survivors of Sodom’s destruction

were a mere handful, it has to be said:

Lot, and the angels who’d arranged his abduction,

and his two daughters; the rest were all dead.

A survivors’ picnic was arranged in a wood,

each bringing a partner if they so wanted.

One angel invited a friend from his boyhood,

while lonely old Lot looked rather haunted.

Then, we sat down and opened our hampers.

I took out my victuals, some wine, and a glass.

Imagine the scene: seven happy campers

hunched round a tablecloth spread on the grass.

It suddenly struck me, as I unwrapped my food,

that something was missing. That’s when I thought,

“Oh, damn it! I’m sorry we are utterly screwed.

Would you believe it? I’ve forgotten the salt.

Where do we find a shop that might stock it?

As if fleeing from Sodom didn’t cause enough strife!”

Then the man of the hour thrust his hand in his pocket,

“No sweat”, said old Lot, waving a pot, “Meet the wife!”

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Ha! Please tell me you just made this up.

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Well, I did make it up, but not just now. I have written a number of poems satirizing certain events of the Old Testament, notably the True Story of Noah's Ark and another one about Judah and his sons Er and Onan. I'm afraid I can't help it!

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That sounds absolutely wonderful

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Well the poem "The Sad Story of Judah, Tamar, Er and Onan"

has over 390 words and begins as follows:

Judah’s wife, a Canaanite, gave birth to a fine son.

“His name?” the priest asked Judah. But he couldn’t think of one.

Judah’s wife, a stutterer, stammered “Um, er, I th-thought…”

“OK,” said the holy man, “let’s call him Er for short.”

and never looks back... (unlike Lot’s wife.)

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Thank you, Leah. Loving the excerpts of what will be a profoundly touching story.

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Leah, this is a great article! You covered the history of nostalgia very nicely. I've always been interested in nostalgia and memory. We do not often understand how these powerful components of our human condition impact the path of our lives. You brought up some really good points that made me think about the subject in broader terms as well as some specifics. For example, if one has grown up as a military brat, constantly moving and really having no set home, is that person's nostalgia different from a person who spent their formative years in one place? And if so, how does it differ?

I've never thought of nostalgia as a disease nor a wound to be pressed. My connection has been mostly favorable in that I tend to think more along the lines of the "good 'ol days" instead of the bad experiences. There is certainly a danger in getting lost in nostalgia. For some, it becomes a blocking mechanism that does not allow a person to deal with their present reality nor move forward. It would be interesting to explore the nuances of memory versus nostalgia. Where do the two intersect and where do they drift apart? Are these points of convergence and divergence the same for everyone?

Keep up the fantastic writing!

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Thank you! I do believe everyone's memory of events are different, so one military brat would have one experience and his/her sibling another. And it can fee really good to get lost in nostalgia, but then we shape shift history a bit too :) Thanks for reading.

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I love the way you tied in all the research you've done recently. I was totally hooked. What a terrific read Leah!

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Thanks Paul!

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Some do: Eve, Jezebel, Ruth, Deborah, Esther et al. But even they are supporting characters more often than leads.

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True, but lots of others are left out. All the women in the story of Noah. Jephthah's daughter is one of favourite.

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Thanks for another fascinating piece, Leah.

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I mean, yes. The answer is yes. But I still think it was worth it.

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I think so too

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Hi Leah,

As an 87-year-old man who has been writing seriously since the pandemic I have a long life to look back on. Many poems that appear in my 3 collections reflect upon the past. As recently as the middle of last month, I happened to write the following poem on the subject of nostalgia and as it chimes with the theme of your offering today, I thought you might like to read it:

Whetstone

Memory is the whetstone

that sharpens our regrets

and hones our nostalgia

for a half-remembered past.

Sharp regrets have a habit

of slicing through nostalgia,

causing psychotrauma,

wounds that will not heal.

Bad memories are painful

persistent mental bruises

that cause recurring stress,

while nostalgia is pricked

by the sharper regrets

when it tries to recall

and hone the positive...

Nostalgia is dishonest.

Tony Dawson, 18 May 2024

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Thank you for sharing!

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Dear Leah,

Your exploration of nostalgia produces many thoughts about reviewing our personal history. I can understand how it might have been considered a malady and even more so, a debilitating mental condition to those suffering from deep loneliness, separation and loss.

You described it in the context of a wound that you feel compelled to revisit time and again, hoping for it to heal, and it never does. I appreciate the scents and sounds you associate with memory in the exploration of this nostalgia. I found in writing “ if you ever need me, I won’t be far away, the scents, sounds and voices of a place and time produce the same visceral reactions as they did upon first experiencing them. Music associated with that time and place came pouring through me and it was reliving the songs that allowed for a deep catharsis of the feelings—the music that induced the sights, sounds,voices and In turn was more deeply felt by the memories of the sensations of time and place. Perhaps listening to the music that you were listening to at the time of these experiences might make this excavation of memory more joyful and less hurtful. It has done that for me—for myself I really couldn’t separate the music from the experience.

I would also say that nostalgia can very much be an accurate memory. That it doesn’t have to be a fantasized or sensationalized or cleansed version of the past. Sometimes it is an accurate revealing of how it truly was : sometimes in pure joy. The way we remember it can be entirely true to how we lived it.

Nostalgia can be a deep longing, and of course it can be associated with loss. I certainly feel loss when I feel nostalgia. And therein lies the reason it can be a mental condition.

But it can also be a truth that we bring to every minute of every day.

We are the total of all of our life experiences every second of every day. When we tell ourselves the truth of our experiences we live more fully.

Nostalgia can be very honest. And not an edited version of our lives.

Sometimes when I watch the Beatles movie “ a hard days night “ I relive what it was like to be overtaken by the joy of the time I first saw it when I was nine. And I feel that joy exactly as I did when I first saw it. The love affair with their charisma sound, and the England from whence they came. I still experience that feeling today in nostalgia. But it is as true today as it was then. And what’s interesting about watching Hard Days Night back in 1964, is that even then it felt nostalgic , it created a sense of longing for this joy that was passing.

Memory can produce nostalgia but the nostalgia isn’t necessarily false.

It can produce painful memories—I have a nostalgia for the moments that I spent with my beloved mom, and I miss her deeply. Pain and joy can be both sides of nostalgia.

Just some reflections in your very interesting exploration of the idea.

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That's why your book is so beautiful, and I'm including the link here because it was so real and moving and everyone should buy it. Even the title hurts my heart, "If You Ever Need Me, I Won't Be Far Away." (https://www.amazon.ca/You-Ever-Need-Wont-Away/dp/0615499430.) I'm going to meditate on the idea that nostalgia can be truth, or at least a version of it. In terms of the emotion, I think you are right, our emotions at the time are very true and that's certainly what we remember.

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Thank you, Leah. I’m loving the excerpts from what will be your deeply moving story

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It is fascinating to learn about nostalgia and its history. Thank you. As for returning to press on past wounds, that is so common to we writers who process our trauma by writing about it. Eventually I found other methods - chiefly I use EFT - meaning that writing about the past is less painful. It takes some work to get there, but is do valuable. Writing shouldn’t be relentlessly painful! I look forward to more of your insights.

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I’m a glutton for punishment :)

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This was so interesting, Leah! I learned so much, thank you.

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PRESSING WOUNDS

I feel this in my bones:

"I’ve come to think of personal history as a wound...we keep going back and pressing on that wound again and again just to see if it’s healed. Nope, not yet. Let’s poke it one more time. Ouch. Still hurts."

I toured "Spark Story," my one-woman musical on the fear of singing. In every show, I reenacted the most painful moments of my life, experiences that squashed my true voice. Though pressing on those wounds every night was cathartic and healing for my audience, I knew it was time to stop.

Is our life story our most powerful gift? Press on Bravely!

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I imagine it was cathartic! Thank you so much for this. Spark Story sounds amazing.

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I read and was similarly taken by the NYT piece, though I suppose that if nostalgia really were a mental illness, then any deep reconsideration of the article would be evidence of disease. On Lot's Wife-- great connection! I wonder what you make of the the similar Orpheus myth?

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I'm not familiar with that one. I just quickly looked it up. It's heart-breaking. Must mull on it for a bit.

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I did not know about this history of nostalgia. I have been down the path of hysteria as a pathology and that is similarly troubling. Perhaps two sides of the same coin to control women.

Great piece, Leah! And spooky nostalgic doll image! 🤩

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